Tournament - For Aunt Alice

I know this woman who knows the secret of life

     "Love and be loved," she says ...

Without commitment, no worries, no fears ...

I hope she never forgets - I will always remember her.

The mother who never knew would cry

The father who left - be proud of what I have become.

Take care of me - don't let me weep

I need you to be okay.

Help me to understand the pain.

Death is a release - life is just a tournament.

Mdawn

Diary of My Days

Little blue book

Opening to my touch

               need you so much

Shh ... it's a secret

               but my head must crack

for a minute or two

I turn to you

               You understand

                              don't say a word

Writing with a fever

               and I don't know

WHY?  You won't tell

               I understand myself

My private little hell inside

               a book

it dwells day by day

               my thoughts collapse on a pen

Jumbled and careless

               THEY FALL

But then my book sweeps them up with her worn fingers

               And reminds me of

A Grandparent I never knew

A father I never had

               A mother that left

A brother's death

               A sister - CAME CLOSE

A love - will it last? 

My DIARY knows.

Mdawn

Hypocritical Worth

I can't tell all about it

Just yet I've discovered my place

Far behind in the woods

An echo restless calls

               I can't stand when

I'm weary

               Can't hunger when

I don't care about substance

Lingering visions of more important tears

Not for me             but her

               The one that can't speak

She's locked in a little place

               Never been given water

                              can't grow

Mindless AND conniving

               But really just a child

Interior blues don't fade

               like my eyes with my moods

               The stones aren't set

The time passes

                              BUT SLOWLY

               daughter of misery

Do you want to play?

                              GO AWAY

                                             come back

I can't help but misunderstand

               When that's all that anyone's ever done.

               don't know how to be "just right"

Just my mama's excuse

               &

everyone else's "not quite good enough."