Sunday, October 17, 2010

Americans in a Word (According to Several Sources)

Once upon a time, a schizophrenicobesebigot was strolling along an aesthetically divided street, contemplating democracy, when he found himself falling into a great big pothole!  The man thought to himself, “FUBAR” … because there was no way that he could make it to McDonald’snow before they closed, and his corporate-owned hunger pangs taunted him mercilessly.  Then, he realized that he was not just under the street, but in a beautiful cave, and he had the freedom to explore quite far.  As he rounded a corner several feet away from his irresponsible entrance into the cave, he happened upon a strange, little grey-bearded man.  The man, muttering something about revolution and lost republics, seemed surprisingly coherent despite his animation.  The bigot leaned in to listen more intently, and the old man turned around to face him and exclaimed, “You always have a choice … Apathy –BEGONE!”  He then realized that the old man had turned him into aphoenix, and he could now fly out of the dark cave.  After his ascension to the surface, the phoenix burst into flames and left behind a much thinner, less ethnocentric, intellectually stable young man with a passion for liberty